WE ARE SCIENTISTS – a rock band

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Very wow MERCH!

Our new single “Fault Lines” is making waves with children, middle aged people, and the elderly! Take a listen?

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INSTGRAMMING

“The bartender gave me this one for free, cuz ev

“The bartender gave me this one for free, cuz everybody’s vaccinated and bars are finally open and we’re all just so fuckin happy that money don’t mean nothin’ anymore!” Chris told the Keiths.
🧑‍🎨=@artisticmuddle

Merry Christmas from your guys! (Yes, we know you

Merry Christmas from your guys! (Yes, we know you have other guys, probably even some you like more than us, probably even some whose music you prefer, probably even some with better wisecracks, and sparklier eyes — please DO NOT bring these guys up in the comments!! For just one day, let us coast along believing that it’s just us, the very best, your one true 3xGuyz!)

🎨 by the inimitable @artisticmuddle

If we could get even 1.2 million of you together o

If we could get even 1.2 million of you together one weekend, that would be an incredible show. Where’s the spot? Barbados? Thailand? Who else do y’all want on the bill? #2021

Very cool of @nmemagazine to go back into print si

Very cool of @nmemagazine to go back into print simply to honor this guy and our new tune "Fault Lines." #blessed #inspired #deserved (FL video link in highlights)

Remember when Black Friday was all about family, g

Remember when Black Friday was all about family, gratitude, and sharing? That’s TOTALLY still the vibe at our merch store, where today we’ve got a couple 🔥 new looks, plus sale prices that will make you 😱 Link in our highlights

The video for "Fault Lines" is here and people are

The video for "Fault Lines" is here and people are watching it like crazy in their basements — link in bio

"Fault Lines" video premiere is today at 3pm EST /

"Fault Lines" video premiere is today at 3pm EST // 8pm GMT. We'll be there chatting in the comments, adding crucial context to the shocking images you'll see. (YouTube link in Stories)

The cinematic, hilarious, heart-breaking video for

The cinematic, hilarious, heart-breaking video for "Fault Lines" premieres tomorrow on YouTube at 3pmEST/8pmGMT with a live-chat featuring US. (We were going to get Brad Pitt, but realized he's not as relevant to the video as we are.) Link in our highlights 🎥

Please indulge Keith’s attempt to woo Chris into

Please indulge Keith’s attempt to woo Chris into visiting him in Miami over the winter with this brief slideshow of the city’s finer attractions.

Here’s a still from the video we made for “Fau

Here’s a still from the video we made for “Fault Lines.” See if you can guess the rest of the story. (Vid premieres 3pmEST/8pmGMT Tuesday on YouTube—link in Stories.)

If you're just sitting here on twitter, check out

If you're just sitting here on twitter, check out FAULT LINES, our high-spirited new jingle-jangle rock song. It'll lift you right out of the morass. (Link in biography.)

We’ve got a new song for you tomorrow. Please pu

We’ve got a new song for you tomorrow. Please put your affairs in order. (And join us at 4pmEST//9pmGMT right here on IG for an hour of high quality live-streamed programming.)

Having grown up in the public eye, we have a botto

Having grown up in the public eye, we have a bottomless roster of poses ready to be deployed when a paparazzo lunges out of a meat truck.

Happiest of all possible birthdays to the one and

Happiest of all possible birthdays to the one and only Chris Cain (he’s the only Chris Cain I recognize, anyway). It should go without saying here that Chris is a man of unbounded wisdom, irrepressible wit, outsized charisma, refined tastes, and robust technical savvy. He works harder and plays rowdier and fights dirtier than any three of you, combined, and when he’s done, he sleeps harder than one-and-a-half of you, and also when he sleeps, he dreams about sleeping, and within those sleeping dreams, he has second-tier dreams, and sometimes THOSE dreams are themselves about dream-filled sleep, and so it becomes this recursive loop of exponential dream-generation, not unlike when you stand in one of those nauseous bathrooms with mirrors on opposite walls, so that an army of your doppelgängers telescope into infinity in either direction and you can’t ever really focus on plucking your nose hairs or whatever, it’s so disconcerting. Anyway, hardass Chris invariably wakes up from these uber-dreams utterly refreshed, ready for another full day of hard work and rowdy play and all of that shit. The man is unstoppable.

It’s no coincidence, then, that he’s also the only person to have been awarded the prestigious “Sex Master Supreme” designation by the City of New York four years in a row (I won twice, but in non-consecutive years).

We love you, Chris, if not as much as you love others, or as well, or with as much vigor or finesse, and certainly not with as much formal recognition from Mayor Bill De Blasio.

“With Love & Squalor: Live in Woodstock, 1969”

“With Love & Squalor: Live in Woodstock, 1969” is out on vinyl today, available exclusively for #loverecordstoresday! Find participating UK indie record stores & catch our 3:30pm BST performance for @republicofmusic at the link in our highlights

For the next week all profits from all sales at ou

For the next week all profits from all sales at our web store will go to @colorofchange, an awesome group of people working for justice in the US. :::::::: There’s also a free mp3 download of our latest single with suggested donation, in case you live an all-digital life. :::::::: Hearty thanks to our label @100percent_records (they also run our store) who are donating their end, too. [link in bio]

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