You who wear drapes as

You who wear drapes as capes, who misjudge your own whims:
It has been a fearful long time since your guiding light has shone, since, that is, we’ve called down to you from this craggy perch. That’s because here in the W.A.S. control room, we’re well aware that no news is good news, well aware that you old-fashioned admirers of the status quo would love it if everything would just remain as is, so that it doesn’t get any worse, because it seems like every time you turn around somebody has changed something and it’s inevitably for the worse. Well we’re all about showing people the road to right living here, and so we’re pretty excited to demonstrate for you that change can be good, it can be for the better; in this case it’s actually going to *make your entire miserable life a whole, whole lot more livable*. That’s right, we’ve made some minor design improvements to this website.
Let’s start small. We’d like you to first jump over to the Advice page, where you’ll find we’ve added a delightful little archive listing at the bottom. Go there now. Not bad, eh? It gets even better; even better than that.
Time to hop along to the Links page, which you’ll find looking better than it ever has, not to mention a bit fuller. Hit it!
Now, do you like magic tricks? Who doesn’t, okay? Who doesn’t! Well magic trick mecca is currently our band page.
Wow, right? Well that’s *nothin* compared to this: a Shows page featuring slightly tweaked/prettified design and A LINK TO A PAGE WITH ALMOST EVERY SHOW WE’VE PLAYED IN THE LAST TWO YEARS. Don’t play it cool, you silly dickhead! Go go go!!!
Okay okay. Now brace yourself, just fucking BRACE yourself for what you’re about to see. Because this… oh boy… THIS page has lain in festering neglect for SO, SO long that you’re going to think we had forgotten it existed altogether. BUT WE DIDN’T! No-ho-ho, we did not. Instead we plotted, we planned, we counted our hams, and