Welcome once again to this,

Welcome once again to this, the most potent News update on the web. There is, as the olde timey newsguys used to say, “News A’plenty, homes.” First topic: WAS’s upcoming show at L’Amour, slated to occur on ten November. This will of course be an explosive, butt-rockin’ show. Appearing on the same bill as us are two of our favorite bands: Mudrust and Ripped from the Cross. We’ve never heard their music, but, as no less than Beethoven put it, “It is false to believe that none can outshine melody, nor eclipse song, cracka’.” Did you know that Beethoven’s close friends and loved ones and children called him “Beat-down”?
To give you some idea of what kind of club L’Amour is, I offer the following factoids that I just moments ago gleaned via a visit to the website:
– Some bands that are playing there in upcoming weeks are (in reverse order of how much I fear them) Candria, Kataklysm, Type O Negative, Clutch Overkill, and Killbox.
– The web page features little animations of exploding balls of flame.
– L’Amour proclaims itself “the rock capital of Brooklyn”, and its website is lamourrocks.com, which suggests not only that it may in fact *be* the rock capital of Brooklyn, but also that the club may actually be called L’Amour Rocks, which would certainly be a nice touch.
– L’Amour is hiring. Folks with experience in bartending, ticket sales, booking, chicken-throat cutting, and covert ops are encouraged to apply.
– Competing in the third round of the semi-finals of the L’Amour Band Search 2001 will be Evil Adam, Gravesend, and Pipebomb. We highly recommend this show. Each of these bands gives a highly nuanced, *super* subtle performance, especially Pipebomb.
But there is far, far more to life than WAS performances; some of you I know struggle to see that, but it’s true. We can’t think of any examples right now, but they are out there, lingering in the dark fringes of our world.
Now, in terms of recording our CD, the official start-date has become Nov. 10. Seem kind of dubious, the way we keep pushing back that date? When do you start recording your CD, again? Sucka. The fact is, people, these things take time, and it’s all a very inexact process. Each time a CD gets made, it’s a small miracle. The audio sciences are still very mysterious, still very poorly understood. Heck, we barely understand them. I mean we do, we understand them fine, but that was like a figure of speech, ya know? Ahem.
You may have noticed that WAS songs quite often deal with the subject of love. If you know us personally, this may surprise you, because we are all incredibly cynical about love and in fact have vowed never again to drink from its cruel teat, all of our experiences in this area having started out delightfully then ended up but horribly. So this is kind of yet another case of a band just pumping out exactly what the fans need to hear. For we recognize that you are too weak to be weighed down by the truth, and so we protect you from it. Like a giant shield positioned in outer orbit to guard against rogue asteroids and their brethren the Global Killers (TM), WAS takes the truth square in the jaw so you don’t have to. We take it and then we go sit down with our broken jaws and we pump out a song that assures you, the innocents, that true love is just sitting right there across the laboratory in a labcoat with the same corporate seal as your own stitched onto the breast, that she is looking for you with as much timid vehemence as you are looking for her, and that when you do find her behind all the colored smoke and laser flashes, she’ll be ready for you, and you for her, all bets will be off, all jewelry mere decoration.
We keep you ignorant of timing, is what it boils down to. And for that you should thank us by coming to a show.

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