So, we're sitting around, now,

So, we’re sitting around, now, waiting for the album to come to us. Nuthin’ to do. Clipping the toenails. Drumming our fingers on the tabletop. Our work here is done.
We received an email from the folks at Devious Semantics (the label that pays us), and this email was a sort of dossier concerning the proper way to handle queries concerning the prolonged delay of this album (which they likened to “a cloth of pure gold, softer than silk, and ultra-conductive” (really, they said this) and which WILL be available in mid-April, no shit). After a string of joke suggestions (at least, we think they were jokes, because they hinted at child molestation. You think we are kidding, but we are not. They guys at Devious Semantics are sick, sick bastards), they offered this little tidbit:
IN A MOMENT OF BLINDING SINCERITY, YOU MAY RESORT
TO THE TRUTH: “IT WAS AN AGRESSIVE PROJECT FOR A YOUNG COMPANY,
FORGED IN FRIENDSHIP AND PRESERVED BY GOOD FAITH.
YOU’LL SEE/HEAR/FEEL WHAT I MEAN. ANYWAYS, WHAT THE
FUCK DO YOU DO WITH YOUR SPARE TIME, FUCK-O?”
So, that is the low-down for you kids out there. We love our record label (but we don’t condone their terrible acts).