It’s the first day of Autumn! (On some planet.)

Let’s break a bad habit today! We have a bad habit of limiting our communication with you, the fan pool, to moments when we want to sell you something. Consider our most recent tweet (as of this writing): “PNIS NLRGMENT PiLL THAT duz WRK—HERE: [redacted].” Or the one before that: “Anyone want to buy a rubber band for 5 dollars?” Or our last news post on this very website, published after we got a line on some cheap Canadian dogs we were planning to import and then resell to you at a breadwinning mark-up. And do you want to know the saddest part? There were never any engorgement pills! There was never a rubber band! I mean presumably we could have found one had anybody responded to the offer, but it’s not like we had one sitting in a decorative box, ready to ship, as implied in that tweet. As for the Canadian dogs, well, they were real enough, we suppose (many of their snapshots are still on our fridge), but shouldn’t we be spending our time making more, better music? Aren’t we a band, for chrissakes, not some fly-by-night internet mini-mall? The answer of course is yes, by god, we are a band, and so making more/better music has become, in the hours since our last tweet and hopefully for many months to come, our absolute focus. Yes, we’re three guys, and guys are renowned for thinking about their dicks all the time, but in the current environment over here we’re actually — believe it or not — giving more thought to music-making than to our Jason Priestly’s, if you’ll permit us the use of an understandably unpopular euphemism. Yes, we’ve once again drilled down hard into the music-making process, and once again found it to our liking, less shame-inducing than pill sales, certainly. Once again, the songs are too hot to touch, which has us daily thanking Crom (our god) that they are not physical objects that ever need to be handled, really, just songs. We’ve started thinking about artwork, and an album title, and whether to use little blood splats or little bullet holes in place of all the o’s in the song titles, and which large corporations to thank in the acknowledgments — nearly all of them have played a significant role! In other words, for those of you who’ve been literally holding your breath for the next record, there is a chance you’ll survive. Not a good chance, no, but breath-holding for any amount of time over about a week carries plenty of inherent risk, and you must surely have known that the day you sealed your lips and pinched your nose.

What else is going on?

  1. Well, we’re watching the runup to the presidential election closely, of course, and mastering new sports.
  2. We’re working on an unsolicited ad campaign for Coors Light Alcohol, one of our favorite alcohols, an alcohol that could benefit from a fresh marketing approach, we think.
  3. We’re trying to find a time this month to go to all the big New York-area haunted houses, because we like to scream and rarely find the right situation for that.
  4. We’re working on a new written piece about actor Josh Lucas, who recently started following us on Twitter after noticing a 2006 free-form essay we wrote that mentions him 40 times.
  5. We’re doing this kinda cool competition sponsored by a hotel where a bunch of bands in Abu Dhabi and Brussels and London are having music fights, and the winner gets flown to London to record under our watchful scrutiny, and then we all play a show together. (Yes, on the surface it seems like the prize isn’t as valuable if a London band ends up winning, but consider that they won’t be all tired out from the flight, and will therefore be able to take full advantage of our tutelage — and our tutelage is essentially priceless.)
  6. Finally, but definitely way more important than our Coors Light commercial: Our own Andy Burrows is about to drop another solo record onto the marketplace, and we’re in a position to tell you that it’s a goddamn good one. We’re “in a position” to tell you this because, frankly, one of us is Andy Burrows, so all of us — including the other two — get to listen to the record early. Some of us, Keith for example, even played on the thing. It’s called “Company,” this record, and it comes out October 22nd, and you can listen to some of it here, plus see a music video featuring pretty ladies and sinister men, plus see a bunch of photos of Andy that don’t have Chris or Keith in them, if that’s the sort of thing you’re into. (They are very nice.)

Oh hey, and by the way, we’ve resumed giving advice. If you want some, email us at advice[at]wearescientists.com.

What our October is looking like.

2 responses on “It’s the first day of Autumn! (On some planet.)

  1. luckybenny

    youve driven me crazy and kept me sane AT THE SAME TIME! Samhain approaches, it IS a time of change! sometimes its not “all about the benjamins”… or as john lennon once said, “hey,man… stop shooting me.”

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