Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey!

What do you think of our new site, fans? Yes, it’s pretty spare. We want to openly admit as much right out of the box. “Right out of the box”? Is that the right phrase? That sounds pornographic as fuck. “Pornographic as the word ‘fuck'” is what we’re saying, just so you understand. Cuz guys, what’s more porno than fuckin? Right? Maybe knee sex. Oh, huh? Huh, huh? What’s that? You haven’t heard the latest? You haven’t heard about what people are doing in the back alleys? About what they’re doing when they get dog piss injected into their spines? Well, listen up: knee sex. That’s the latest.

Here’s the straight skinny: we’re so busy with making a new record and trying to break into the TV market that we have precious little time to maintain the kind of website that you have come to expect from us. So we’re downscaling. JUST FOR THE TIME BEING, YOU JERKS! GIVE US A BREAK, YOU FIVE DUDES WHO READ OUR WEBSITE!

You see, as we make the record this fall, and blast open the TV industry’s doors, our wearescientists.com is undergoing a major overhaul. Come late December or early January — call it January 1st! Come January 1st (or earlier or later), we will introduce the biggest and best website since AltaVista.com. AltaVista.com — never forget! — is the website that brought everybody searchable yogurt. Our new site will be no less significant. Indeed, it will feature a nostalgic yogurt search function, in addition to show dates, ticket links, pictures of puma butts, animés of knee sex, and all the rest of the stuff you associate with Microsoft and We Are Scientists, as well as Sears.

In the meantime, a word of advice? Read our blog. Look at (and subscribe to) our Twitter feed (see sidebar). Buy our shitty junk off our merch page — also, just in time for Christmas, check out our soon-to-be-introduced junky shit, on the same page (see that sidebar!). AND: live your life! Yes, live your life! Because in two months or so, WAS.com is going to relaunch, and it’s going to subsume Google and BarnesandNoble.com and all the rest, and you’re going to be spending *five hours a day talking on the phone to your friends about our website*. So take this little bit of time now, while we’re offering it. Start a hobby! You won’t have time to master it — hell no — but you can start something and figure out whether it’s something you’d like to casually pretend to be into when you’re chatting at bars.

Finally: Stay tuned for major news in the next day or two. About us, that is! Obviously you can go to the marvelous nytimes.com or yahoo.com/googlenews any day of the week and find major news. But by week’s end, you can expect a little bit of local major news, if you see what we mean.

24 responses on “Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey!

  1. Jennifer

    You guys are fuggin the best. I siriously listen to your shit every calendar day. Fuggin… keep it up. Can’t wait to hear the new idea themes.

  2. Lindsey

    Where did all the pictures go? WHERE DID ALL THE PICTURES GO ?

    i want to look at you while i listen to you.

  3. Barry

    Hey, what’s the deal with your new pages? I saw a puppy picture here at some point? Do you guys still have some said picture? What is the point of that if people try to come back and not find the old pictures?

  4. Keith

    People, people, people! There’s a very simple solution to this problem! While browsing our fantastic, admittedly (largely) photo-less site, why not just open up a new window, direct it to Google images, and type in “We Are Scientists Keith” or “Keith We Are Scientists” or “We Keith Are Scientists” or “Keith Murray We Are Scientists” or “We Keith Are Murray Scientists” or “Chris” and then just let your eyes dart back and forth between our site and whatever comely photo is delivered by Google. Our thing is, why be redundant with our site when we can allow Google images to do all the heavy-lifting, photo-having-wise?

  5. Joanne

    Oh boy,im not sure what to make of the news.We’ve been promised a new web site before and were without our beloved forum for way to long.Im gonna stay positive tho and look forward to the changes so dont let me down boys,im expecting greatness from you.I understand your busy and cannot wait for the new album,gigs and any TV work you do,you guys rock and i love you.The only thing id like to say to you is interact more with us,you guys are on Twitter,please reply to us on their or answer our questions on here.I know your time is precious but you’d make our WAS community a happy place if we heard from you once in a while.It is the age of the internet after all.LOVE YOU xxxxx

  6. Kerstin

    oooh, this is great. I love the scarce look. this update made me smile so much this crappy morning. shame I don’t have time for the blog now. but you and your altavista. hihi. it’s so funny.
    Ican’t wait to hear the news and see the tv-episodes, hear the new album, see you live again and…and…and. there, you’re exactly right. I should do whatever I want NOW, cause when you guys will be back there won’t be time for anything else but W.A.S. yeah…

  7. Heather

    Sooooo excited…thanks for the update, love the new downscaled site…and every reference to knee sex….I’ve been trying to push that forward for quite some time…..yay to the return of WAS…and a new album!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx

  8. Lisa

    ah patience is a virtue, if it means we get a new album, i can live without a few photos for the time being
    and guys i know they look similar and have the same talent but keith murray the rapper is not the lead singer of we are scientists for all those confused googlers out there 😛

  9. Raya

    I, particularly, am in love with the fact that this all looks like the internet in 2001. Amazing. Not as sad about the missing pictures, but appalled by Keith’s solution. Not the Googling part, just the fact that “Chris” comes up with A LOT of Chris Brown (not near as cool as the Cain man, who as far as I know, abstains from beating the shit out of his spouse). I will not add to your search count Keith Murray, nice try!

  10. Chris

    Richness is in the eye of the beholder, Ula! For example, 80 out of 100 people we polled about this site found it to be “richer than chocolate”; 17 out of 100 said it’s “richer than Tutankhamen”; two people found it “ugly and stupid”; and one person thought our new site was “google”. Now you know where you stand versus Joe Average!

  11. ula

    You’re right, instead of changing this site (which is fun), come to our little Polish village called Warsaw and play a show this time. Please :)

  12. Abby

    I don’t even care about the missing pictures, because as Renee said, most of them are on What’s the Word. But I’m just so darn excited for the new album, and the tv show (which I can thank our dear old internet for providing us Americans with UK television). It’s starting to feel like 2008 again, waiting for BTW. <3<3<3<3 you guys.

  13. Mindy

    What do I think, you ask? I think I’d like to take this deconstructed beauty into a back alley and have my way with its knees, if you know what I’m talking about.

  14. sophie

    i seriously could not love you guys more if i tried.
    i’d say you were god, but, people got pretty mad when i said it of morrissey, what with it being blasphemy and all…

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    Just Googled and read the whole article and i must have to say that me and my husband loved reading your post. We bookmarked and will regularly check more updates to come from your website. Thanks for making us one step more enlightened with your blog.

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