Recent Celebrity Sightings (as relayed to WAS by Chris of WAS)

Gretchen Moll and Paul Rudd, Pastis Bistro, Meatpacking District – My first real celebrity-sighting in NYC. They sat down at a table 10 feet to my left during lunch. I barely even recognized Rudd, he looked so bad; all bearded and slovenly, going for that Regular Joe Film Star look and hitting only the first part. Gretchen Moll, whom I’ve never been that impressed with, was f-ing hot. I proposed marriage several times over the course of the meal in my head. Even in my head she said no.
Christina Ricci, Pastis again, different day – I was eating outside this time. Christina Ricci stood outside the door looking all pale and thin and quiet, flowing even. Maybe she was checking out the menu. I can’t remember whether she went inside; I just see her standing there effervescing and shit.
Julian Schnabel, Pastis, same day as C.R. – I’ll be honest: I don’t know Julian Schnabel, notorious art-film director and painter, from an overweight balding dude schlepping with great difficulty his own ass across the sun-starched cobble square toward Pastis – which is exactly what he was doing on the day in question – but the person I was with I.D.ed him and is to be trusted on matters of this sort, so yeah, whoa, Julian Schnabel, darling directoire, perfidious peintre, comb-over shyly waving in the wind.
Liza Minelli, sidewalk, Lexington and E. 70s – Short and badger-like in appearance, with an emphasis on the shortness and the badgerosity. I just passed her while walking north; she was standing outside a deli talking to someone. What else can be said? Liza Minelli is not imposing.
Carol Kane, Astor Place, E. Village – I saw this Carol Kane-looking woman walking toward me and remarked to myself that she resembled Carol Kane. Then she spoke to her walking buddy in that little helium voice and I noted this was Carol Kane here that I was dealing with.