Guess the Animal

Who wants to try to guess the animal? Everybody does! Hooray! Okay, we’re going to start with a hard one that we just learned, okay? So think about some of the animals that we just learned about in the last couple of weeks. Okay, here we go.
A native of North America, I use my slightly-webbed hind feet to navigate my chosen habitat. Several years ago I was introduced to The Netherlands, which is a country in Europe, where my burrowing habits damage dykes and levees; for that reason I’m hunted by the Dutch and sometimes served at restaurants as waterkonijn.
What am I?
What am I, huh?
Can anybody guess?
Here’s a hint: Over the course of her life, the female of my species typically has two or three litters with between six and ten babies in each litter.
Still nothing? Uh oh, you guys are in trouble. Okay, here’s another hint: “waterkonijn” means “water rabbit”.
That did it! That’s right, I’m a muskrat! A muskrat is correct! All right, great! Good job! Now you’ve loosened up your noodles a little bit, got those connections firing, let’s move on to something a little tougher.
Guess the animal.
I have four strong legs that allow me to run very fast — so strong, in fact, that I can carry people around on my back or even pull carriages behind me. People who use me for this sort of labor tend to nail U-shaped metal “shoes” to the hooves on my feet, in order to protect them.
I’m the most popular racing animal, and every year at events like the Kentucky Derby people bet millions of dollars on the abilities of some of my species’ more athletic members.
Any ideas?
Guys, anything?
A dog? No, no. Good guess, though. You can’t really ride a dog.
A bull? No, great guess.
Anybody else? Okay, here’s another hint. I’m a vegetarian and tend to live on grass and hay, but I have quite a sweet tooth: sweet vegetables like carrots and even actual sugar cubes are my favorites!
Anybody have it?
Anybody?
A… a what was that? A dog? No, no dogs don’t eat hay. And somebody already guessed dogs. Anyone else? Come one guys, think hard…
Okay, another hint: I’ve been in lots of movies! “The Black Stallion” was all about one of my kind befriending a young boy. In any movie involving knights and swords, the heroes are always riding around on top of me. There was even a movie called “Seabiscuit” about me. Indiana Jones prefers riding me to riding a camel, and in the movie “Hidalgo”, the guy from “Lord of the Rings” rides me all over the desert. In fact, some policemen in big cities like New York and London still ride around on me because I make it easier to push through crowds of people.
Anyone have any ideas? No? Nobody has any ideas? A cow? No, I’m not a cow. I’m not a cow, now come on, really think. Reeeally think, guys…
How bout this: my name rhymes with ‘morse’ and ‘borse’ and ‘course’ and ‘Norse’ and ‘lorse’ and ‘rorse’ and ‘torse’ and ‘zorse’… anybody? Anyone get it? Has anyone thought of what animal I am? Anybody?
How bout this, I look like a zebra but without the stripes. Anybody? I look like a donkey. Anybody? Anyone get it? I look like a pony. Or a mule. Can anybody think of it? Nope, not a lion, but that’s close. Like a lion, I have a mane. But think about a zebra, but without the stripes. Think about a zebra, but all brown. What would that be? Anybody know? What would a solid brown zebra be called? Or what’s another word for a pony? What else can you call a pony?
Hold on a sec, everybody… Okay, you see this? What’s this? What’s this a picture of? Can you tell me what it is? Can you tell me what this is a picture of? See that? What’s that? Okay, hold on a sec… give me just… one… second… I’m gonna… pop this tape in, and… Okay! Now, what are those? What are those animals there called? No, they’re not bulls. Look at them running there. What does a bull look like? That’s right, a bull has horns. But these don’t have horns, do they? No. No, so what are they? If they’re not dogs and they’re not bulls and they’re not lions or cows or zebras, they’re… they’re… Anybody know? They’re… they’re… What are they? They’re… horses, everybody. Horses. See? Like a big zebra, but with no stripes.
Your daddy has a horse? Well, I’m surprised you didn’t recognize the pictures. His name is Thunder? Well, I’m surprised you didn’t recognize the horses in the video. Is that what your daddy’s horse Thunder looks like? It is? Well, I’m surprised you didn’t recognize a picture and a video of a fucking horse when your daddy has one at home. Doesn’t that surprise you a little bit? Doesn’t it surprise you? Well, it’s okay to say that word sometimes when you can barely believe something; I’m sure your daddy uses it sometimes, too. Well I’m sure he just doesn’t tell you about it. How about this Carol Ann, we’ll play one more round of animal guessing. My name is Thunder and Carol Ann’s daddy is my owner. What kind of animal am I? A horse, that’s right, Pete. You’re a fucking genius. You actually got it before Carol Ann, which officially makes her the stupidest person in the world. Don’t you think so, Carol Ann? Well, yes, but remember it’s okay to use those words when you can barely believe something, and Pete guessing what kind of animal your daddy has before you can is pretty amazing. Don’t you think? Carol Ann? Don’t you think so, Carol Ann?
Alright, everybody go to the cafeteria now, it’s time for lunch. Carol Ann, remember that your sandwich is the thing inside the bag your mommy gave you, and your hand is the thing at the end of your arm that you pick other things up with. I want you to be very careful not to accidentally eat your hand instead of your sandwich. If you have any questions, just ask Pete. He’ll be happy to help you, won’t you Pete? Yeah, great.