Good things to stay if you want to sound like a little kid:

“Nice work, disgusticon.”

“Hey, humpstick! Nice work.”

“Hey, look, it’s Vinnie the Vagina. How’s it goin, Vinnie the Vagina? How’s your vagina?”

“Hey, look, it’s Crappy Andy. What’s up, Crappy Andy? Feeling crappy?”

“Hey, look, it’s Tom the Mom.”

“Hey, look, it’s Mangela. Feeling manly, Mangela?”

“My dad said that’s not true. My dad said Columbus was an American.”

Good things to say if you want to sound like a little kid in a Hollywood movie:


“I am an eleven year old kid, and here I am lecturing you on how to safely disarm a mine. I should be home in my jammies right now!”

“Mom, I miss dad. Who was that lady he was with today at the store? Is he ever coming back to live with us? Can we get a dog, mom? I’m going to name him Dad.”

“Actually, according to the internet you should press that green button, crank the ‘Tread Release’ lever over there, and then engage the ignition. If my mom knew what I was doing right now, she’d kill me!”

“I think I’m drunk. I can’t believe dad likes this stuff. Sometimes I miss dad. Hopefully he’ll come back and finish this stuff so I don’t have to. Say, what’s that you’ve got? Hey, it’s dad’s old bull whip. He showed me how to use it once. Stand over there.”