On August 31st, in Glasgow, Chris addressed an autographed promotional vinyl to “Marie”. The signature seeker’s name was “Mairead”. We regret the error.
On August 23rd, Keith invited audience members to “go fuck [them]selves, Leeds.” That night we played Birmingham; Leeds was the following night. The band regrets Keith’s error.
July 18th, we responded enthusiastically to a journalist’s email soliciting an interview. The questions, which we received the following day, went unanswered for nearly a month, and were ultimately addressed with less verve than we’re capable of. We Are Scientists regrets the entire affair.
On August 22nd, in Manchester, we killed a promoter who neglected to furnish the bottle of red wine specified by our rider. Our intention was to beat him savagely but non-fatally – at worst to shorten his life by a handful of years through chronic illness brought on by serious injury. We apologize to the promoter in question, but warn his family that in our view they have inherited his debt.
On September 6th, during an interview with XFM dj John Kennedy, Michael momentarily adopted a British accent and said, “Oi, John. Your mate sounds like a right old geezer, i’nnit?” He butchered it. We regret the error. For a second he actually sounded almost German.
On a flight from New York City to London on September 21st, Chris listened to his iPod, an electronic device, during takeoff. We Are Scientists regret having almost caused the aircraft to crash into an airport hotel or the flight tower or another plane, and also wish to express total uncomprehending surprise that none of those things happened.