CORRECTIONS AND ADDENDA

In the January 18 edition of this webpage, we reported that “the average adult in good physical condition can easily outrun even the the most athletic lion.” This should have read, “cars can outrun even the most athletic lion.” We regret the confusion.



Our February 9 edition reported that health authorities in China were confronting a “mysterious disease causing the melting of facial flesh, and the falling out of eyes.” The disease, now called SARS, is not associated with those symptoms. We regret the error.



Our June 15 edition erroneously reported that, “tomato manufacturers have recalled all tomatos due to a deadly side-effect of genetic manipulation that has already killed tens of thousands. The side-effect, christened ‘Facial Sloughing’, causes the fatal melting of the face of a person who has consumed even microscopic portions of tomato, or breathed air that has come into contact with tomatoes or other air.” We regret the error.



In the June 24 edition of this website, we reported that geneticists working with the US military had developed “rabbits with machine guns for heads, deer with laser-heat vision capable of incinerating entire villages, squirrels with on-board missile guidance systems that can guide their own bodies—for they are also working missiles—into a target up to 200 miles away, and otters with submarine-busting drill apparati built into their groins.” We retract those claims, and regret the error.



Our July 1 edition reported that “Earth’s moon and Earth’s core, long felt to be discrete entities, have been shown by scientists working at NASA’s Albuquerque facility to be ‘one and the same thing’.” A NASA representative denies the report, asserting, surprisingly, that the moon and Earth’s core are “like [literally made of] apples and oranges.” We regret the confusion.