We made this thing all by ourselves, guys. Gobble it up.
After yesterday’s first play of “Nice Guys” on Zane Lowe’s Radio 1 show, Zane has asked us to play a session on his June 2nd show, and we… well, unfortunately, we… we… … have accepted! How could we not? Zane Lowe — it’s a well known industry “secret” — is the best smelling host in the business today, if you like natural scents! We’ll play a couple tracks from “Barbara” — which by then will be just 2 weeks from birth — and then cause a bunch of cringing and silent screams with our “Wild Card” track. (Don’t ask what it’s going to be, as that’s a little bit of a goddamn secret.)
Mark your calendars with a little caricature of Zane holding a rattle snake in one hand and a Mai Tai in the other!
Dear friends: “Rules Don’t Stop”, the first single off of our new album “Barbara”, goes on sale Monday in the U.K. Sound expensive? What if we told you that you can pre-order at 7Digital for 50p. The special, dirt-cheap price ends Sunday at midnight, because then you’re out of ‘pre-order’ territory and firmly into ‘order’ grove — not that that’s such a bad place to be, order grove! But pre-order territory, my god… it’s every bit as good as it sounds.
At last we are ready to reveal to you the secrets of telekinesis, teleportation, auto-erotics, bowling, and trip-planning. Behold, the video for RULES DON’T STOP, the first single off our forthcoming record BARBARA. They’re not spelled all-caps like that, we’re just being lazy with the italics over here. BARBARA comes out in June, and we’re going to have a few vinyl copies of RULES DON’T STOP as well as unlimited copies of a download available on April 5th. (That was worth the effort, italicizing that date.)
The only other thing you need to know about this video is that it was directed by LABOUR, who are (as will soon be obvious to you) geniuses.
The NME Awards happened last week, on schedule, and we were there, a little early. Once again we pressed Tim the Cameraman into service, and once again we generated the kind of behind-the-scenes exposé footage that regularly wins more traditional journalists Peabody’s and Pulitzer’s. Have a gander:
We’re coming to England beginning of next week, and so shall come the Big Fuckin Deal shirt. The London edition will feature a special map on the front (Europe), correct dates on the back, but otherwise the same coupling of charm and super-soft cotton. (See the post immediately below if you have no idea what the fuck we’re talking about.)
AND: we’ve just recovered the ‘wearescientists’ Twitter name from a malfeasant provocateur. (That actually makes him/her sound much more interesting than they were: they just registered it and steadfastly refused to post.) Please give suggestions in the comments as to what we should do with the ‘wearescientists’ twitter feed. Ideas? Anybody???
Here are the facts:
But of course, there’s so much more to it than that. Sometimes facts are like medium-sized rocks sitting there on the floor of the jungle: you turn the rock over, and yeah, sometimes there’s just dirt underneath. But other times maybe there’s a wild little polychromatic swarm of insects and worms, or a piece of paper folded many times, or a key! And which rock-overturner has not at one time or another discovered a treasure chest or a diamond ring or even the door to an underground suite of rooms appointed with devices and technologies that could only have come from a distant utopian future??
And so if you overturn the rock near the top of this post, what will you discover? That at these shows, we will not be drunkenly croaking out a bunch of 90’s radio-rock covers! That at these shows, we won’t be settling even for a bunch of tunes we wrote years ago which, admittedly, have become cultural touchstones! No, at these shows, attendees will be treated to nothing less than our drunken croaking of probably at least half of our forthcoming third music album! Sure, we’ll pound through the classics: your Nobody Move’s, your After Hours’s, your Cheetah Lick’s — but at evening’s end, the bulk of your ball-tripping will have directly resulted from hearing forthcoming hits such as Rules Don’t Stop, I Don’t Bite, Nice Guys, and Foreign Kicks. Caveat: Unless you take a drug pill(s)! If you take a drug pills, you’ll be tripping more leaden balls than most of the audience, and the lion’s share of your trip will owe itself to a drug pills.
More on that forthcoming album (spring ’10) and related issues (international touring, touring more than a 4 hr. drive from our practice space) coming soon.
In the meantime, have a great new year celebration, pop a drug pills, drive a car around, party, and remember to go see the latest movie, Avatar!
Hello! It’s been a nice Halloween season for motherf*%k#@s, we think you’ll agree. Here are a couple of season-appropriate images you can stare at for a minute to get yourself in the mood:
Now that you’re in a more satanic mood, we’d like to share with you some very good news: MTV didn’t cancel Steve Wants His Money!! We’re as surprised as you are – perhaps more so, since we’ve had longer to be convinced that cancellation was assured. But no, they didn’t cancel it at all, so episode two is going to air this Sunday at 22:55 on MTV in the UK. Just to tell you a little bit about this week’s show, it’s called “The £85 Beat” (or “Grandma’s Keyboard”) and it features hip hop sensation Kano. It’s two parts razzle, one part dazzle, and anybody who isn’t already hooked is probably going to remain unsure. People who already love SWH$ will not be dissuaded, though – that’s for certain.
The good news doesn’t end there. Next week – November 5, to be exact – Mr. Andy Burrows touches down in New York and the three of us resume work on the new record. Andy has been laying down hot meat (“tracking”, in industry-speak) for his solo record in London, but it’s time to take a break from that, and he knows it, and we all planned it in advance, so it’s not a big surprise or anything – it’s time to work on the W.A.S. record (tent. titled “Vagabond Marathonned”).
Finally, we’ve re-opened our Advice section. You’re invited to submit riddles, pleas for assistance, intellectual inquiries, and zen koans. We can’t be stumped! Not by people, anyway. Falcons drive us crazy with their capriciousness, their near-random behavior… You, however! You we know from first page to last. You we had figured out weeks ago. Try us.
Dear fans who can read,
Tonight is a big night for fans of short-form comedy that stars members of bands. That’s because at either 22:55 or 23:55 this evening, our emotionally sophisticated new show Steve Wants His Money premiers on MTV in the UK. (The reason for the confusion about air time is simply a matter of this show being so red-hot to the touch that the folks at MTV are having a hard time handling it! They sent an intern out to buy metaphorical oven mitts, but he’s hasn’t come back yet! So everybody keeps dropping our show in unpredictable places!)
So here are the specifics on how Steve show will roll out: every Sunday night for the next seven weeks a new episode will premier on MTV (the main channel, guys). Throughout the ensuing six days, the new episode will repeat on the various MTV networks: MTV, MTV2, Base, Hits, Dance and MTVR. We think the show is going to appear in programming guides, but it may appear as “We Are Scientists present… Steve Wants His Money” or simply “Lil MTV”, which is the umbrella name for MTV’s big foray into funny short programming.*
As we get more accurate info, we’ll feed it to this website and to Twitter and to the print version of Time Magazine. That includes details on when Steve show will be viewable outside the U.K. (shouldn’t be too long…). Anyway, take a look and let us know what you think in the comments section of this very goddamn post!
* Other shows that MTV has commissioned for Lil MTV include Snuffed Out Too Soon, a show about people, mostly homeless people, mostly kids, who were killed on camera in snuff films; and Nailed In The Caboose, a historical survey of famous men and women who at one time or another were sodomized. Snuffed Out Too Soon is hosted by Robbie Williams, and Nailed In The Caboose — we’ve heard — is being hosted by Jack White(!). Haven’t seen either, but they sound LOL.
What do you think of our new site, fans? Yes, it’s pretty spare. We want to openly admit as much right out of the box. “Right out of the box”? Is that the right phrase? That sounds pornographic as fuck. “Pornographic as the word ‘fuck'” is what we’re saying, just so you understand. Cuz guys, what’s more porno than fuckin? Right? Maybe knee sex. Oh, huh? Huh, huh? What’s that? You haven’t heard the latest? You haven’t heard about what people are doing in the back alleys? About what they’re doing when they get dog piss injected into their spines? Well, listen up: knee sex. That’s the latest.
Here’s the straight skinny: we’re so busy with making a new record and trying to break into the TV market that we have precious little time to maintain the kind of website that you have come to expect from us. So we’re downscaling. JUST FOR THE TIME BEING, YOU JERKS! GIVE US A BREAK, YOU FIVE DUDES WHO READ OUR WEBSITE!
You see, as we make the record this fall, and blast open the TV industry’s doors, our wearescientists.com is undergoing a major overhaul. Come late December or early January — call it January 1st! Come January 1st (or earlier or later), we will introduce the biggest and best website since AltaVista.com. AltaVista.com — never forget! — is the website that brought everybody searchable yogurt. Our new site will be no less significant. Indeed, it will feature a nostalgic yogurt search function, in addition to show dates, ticket links, pictures of puma butts, animés of knee sex, and all the rest of the stuff you associate with Microsoft and We Are Scientists, as well as Sears.
In the meantime, a word of advice? Read our blog. Look at (and subscribe to) our Twitter feed (see sidebar). Buy our shitty junk off our merch page — also, just in time for Christmas, check out our soon-to-be-introduced junky shit, on the same page (see that sidebar!). AND: live your life! Yes, live your life! Because in two months or so, WAS.com is going to relaunch, and it’s going to subsume Google and BarnesandNoble.com and all the rest, and you’re going to be spending *five hours a day talking on the phone to your friends about our website*. So take this little bit of time now, while we’re offering it. Start a hobby! You won’t have time to master it — hell no — but you can start something and figure out whether it’s something you’d like to casually pretend to be into when you’re chatting at bars.
Finally: Stay tuned for major news in the next day or two. About us, that is! Obviously you can go to the marvelous nytimes.com or yahoo.com/googlenews any day of the week and find major news. But by week’s end, you can expect a little bit of local major news, if you see what we mean.