Hey. Hey! Did you guys all watch the big 12-12-12 concert last night? Wasn’t it great? Wasn’t it just terrifically heartening to watch people from all over the world but mostly from England for some reason come together in one tremendous act of philanthropy? And wasn’t it also just really difficult to tell whether the person you were watching perform up there on the stage at Madison Square Garden was an aging male rock star or a female member of the US government? It was, right? Oh, you thought it was easy? You think I’m crazy? Okay, then I suppose you’ll be getting a perfect score when we play:
MALE ROCK STAR or FEMALE U.S. POLITICIAN?
Let’s start with an easy one. No problem, here:
It’s Dave Grohl, obviously. Male rock star. Classic. If you got that one wrong, you need to quit this game right now. Leave our website and go register yourself on www.certifieddummies.gov, because you are a certified dummy. Dave Grohl. Easy.
Maybe one more easy one before we really dive into the meat of this game? Okay. How about this gimme?
No problem. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Easy, easy, easy. You’ve mastered this game, right? Wrong.
Here’s where it gets tough. What’s this? A male rock star or a female American politician?
I know, right? This game is hard. That’s what makes it both amusing and infuriating, hopefully not in equal measure. Hopefully it’s a little more fun than it is difficult. But that’s a man. His name is Paul McCartney. He is an extremely successful musician, and is a man. You’re just going to have to trust me on this.
What the? What in the? You’re not sure, right? Could be a woman? A woman who represents maybe Vermont in the U.S. House of Representatives? That’s what I thought, too. I was so convinced that it was a woman who represents maybe Vermont in the U.S. House of Representatives that I double-checked my sources when I learned that it was Roger Daltrey from The Who. I re-booted my laptop and re-installed Safari and re-ran the diagnostics and still my research concludes that this is a man named Roger Daltrey and not a woman who represents maybe Vermont in the U.S. House of Representatives.
Okay, let’s keep going. You’re rattled, I can tell. Ready? What the fuck is this person?
Should we just stop? Just move on to something else? Something more fun? This has kind of stopped being fun for me. Because, guess what? That attractive-if-perhaps-a-bit-strong-chinned MILF is actually a guy named Jon Bon Jovi. Your guess is as good as mine, folks.
Okay. I’m gonna give you a little cheat, now. I’m going to go ahead and show you a photo of a group of female, American politicians, just so you’ll have a fresh perspective. Cleanse your addled palate. Here, now, is a quartet of U.S. Senators, all women.
You’re probably wondering why those Senators are delivering their Congressional referendum or whatever with musical instruments in tow. Well – and, I hope you’re sitting down for this – those aren’t Senators. They’re not even civilian women. They’re the Rolling Stones, I’m told?
Just to keep this post from ending on a note of sour defeat, let’s play one more game. One more really fun game. It’s called:
MALE ROCK STAR or SWAMP GOBLIN?