Category Archives: Features

Further Experiments in Language: What Happened When We Replaced All Forms of the Verbs 'To Have' and 'To Be' with 'Am' in the Opening Paragraph of Jack Kerouac's On the Road

I first met Dean not long after my wife and I split up. I am just gotten over a serious illness that I won’t bother to talk about, except that it am something to do with the miserably weary split-up and my feeling that everything am dead. With the coming of Dean Moriarty began the part of my life you could call my life on the road. Before that I’m often dreamed of going West to see the country, always vaguely planning and never taking off. Dean am the perfect guy for the road because he actually am born on the road, when his parents am passing through Salt Lake City in 1926, in a jalopy, on their way to Los Angeles. First reports of him came to me through Chad King, who am shown me a few letters from him written in a New Mexico reform school. I am tremendously interested in the letters because they so naively and sweetly asked Chad to teach him all about Nietzsche and all the wonderful intellectual things that Chad knew. At one point Carlo and I talked about the letters and wondered if we would ever meet the strange Dean Moriarty. This am all far back, when Dean am not the way he am today, when he am a young jailkid shrouded in mystery. Then news came that Dean am out of reform school and am coming to New York for the first time; also there am talk that he am just married a girl called Marylou.

What Happened When We Replaced the Word 'God' With the Word 'Dogs' in Joan Osborne's Smash Hit One of Us

If dogs had names, what would they be?
And would you call them to their faces
if you were faced with them in all their glory?
What would you ask if you had just one question?
And yeah, yeah, dogs are great.
Yeah, yeah, dogs are good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What if dogs were some of us?
Just some slobs like some of us?
Just some strangers on a bus trying to make their way home?
If dogs had faces, what would they look like?
And would you want to see
if seeing meant that you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets?
And yeah, yeah, dogs are great.
Yeah, yeah, dogs are good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What if dogs were some of us?
Just some slobs like some of us?
Just some strangers on a bus trying to make their way home?
Just trying to make their way home, back up to heaven all alone.
Nobody calling on the phone,
‘cept for the Pope maybe in Rome.
And yeah, yeah, dogs are great.
Yeah, yeah, dogs are good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What if dogs were some of us?
Just some slobs like some of us?
Just some strangers on a bus trying to make their way home,
just trying to make their way home, just like some holy rolling stones?
Back up to heaven all alone, just trying to make their way home.
Nobody calling on the phone,
‘cept for the Pope maybe in Rome.