name: Amy
query: im going to see you fine gentlemen on april 10th and i was just wondering if theres anything i should do in order to get the most out of my we are scientists experience??
A few things that can’t hurt:
- Melt your mind beforehand: Come to the show your mind already molten, your intentions shattered, your inclinations and desires bone-broken and reduced to mush.
- Eat a good meal that evening: The wrong way to watch We Are Scientists — the very exact wrong way — is tummy a’rumble.
- Bring your own hair: We don’t provide hair.
- Above all come to the show with an open mind and a sincere desire to have a great time because we are going to bring the rock and make you feel great about yourself and your friends and parents and life and the fact that your dog got lured by the neighborhood perv into a thresher where he got flung — thousands of strands of him, like 1500 pieces of wet uncooked bacon — all over the driveway! Which you later had to clean up cuz your parents were on vacay.
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name: nini
query: capricorn + capricorn compatability go on,tell me its a doomed relationship.
Not only is the relationship doomed but, if you pursue it, so is the future of mankind and life on this planet! Have you ever seen Back to the Future? And so are you familiar with the tremendous threat involved in a person from the present meeting a version of himself from the future or past? Remember how it will create a rift in the time/space continuum that will compound and react and multiply and radiate fissures of awful anarchy out through the fabric of existence and destroy not only reality but also every possible path reality could have taken since the instant after matter’s inception? Well the film’s creators were basing that on what happens when capricorns date capricorns.
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name: Camara Samuel
query: I am an aspiring scientist…and currently a senior in High School…do you think I will ever find a boy who shares my intrests in the natural sciences at my young age…
Hm. Tough Q. There are certainly high school guys out there who enjoy the natural sciences, but they are massive pervs who spend all their time shredding dogs in shredders and then freaking out in passionate observance of the raw-bacon-fireworks that putting that dog in the shredder caused. They love Mad Libs, for chrissakes, these guys.
Your best bet is to find a nice english major and slowly insinuate your love of science into his mind. Do this by giving him sex once every time he completes a “Short Answer & Essay” section at the end of a chapter of your Chem or Bio books. A girl did this for one of the members of W.A.S. when he was in high school, and the predictable-enough pavlovian result is that science topics now cause actual physical arousal. Seriously, nothing gets him hard like slinging a terrified dog into a shredder.
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name: Frankie
query: I wana drop out of uni and be a groupie..is this wrong?
If dropping out of uni and becoming a groupie is wrong, Frankie, then who the fuck wants to be right? You know? Who wants to be right? If that’s wrong, dropping out of uni and groupying it up, who wants to be right in those circumstances? Where society is actually going to tell you that dropping out of the ol’ uni and getting your groupie on is wrong. Who, Frankie, who? Frankie… … … … who. Who.
Who.
Frankie, oh my god, Frankie…
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name: rollerskateskinny, its not really but I need to remain anon!
query: What do you do when you absolutely love and adore a married man…and I mean really really love!
I know WAS probably have firsthand experience of this, so I thought I’d ask!
Cheers
xxx
Rollerskateskinny,
When a woman really, really loves a man, that’s when she is liable to be tricked into performing unsavory tasks, so take advantage of your situation. Keep the wife around at all times — you’ll find the man you love will completely leave off of making these embarrassing requests of you and your body. You will be free to pursue a sublime spiritual friendship, while wife is condemned to perform the awful physical servicing of her masochistic, sick/evil fetish-master pervert of a husband.
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name: Daniel
query: What kind of guitars (acustic and Electric) do you guys love the most?
Well, Daniel, the kind with naked ladies on the front. And we’ll tell you why. It’s because they have great tone and great feel.
