The headline really says it all on this piece, but why not reiterate that the amazing PAWS will be touring with us in July. You can come find out whether we’re lying by nabbing a ticket to one of these shows, or you can just enjoy yourself this music video from those PAWS guys:
TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE FOR OUR JULY U.K. TOUR. That last sentence was in all-caps because we were YELLING IT! It’s exciting, we think. This time three months from now, we’ll be in Portsmouth, or Bristol, or London! Maybe Coventry! Glasgow? Manchester? Is it Preston? To be honest, we’re super-sketchy on how calendars work. Suffice it to say, we’ll be somewhere, and there’ll be a show that night, so we’ll be putting on our vintage mariachi clothes, and strapping on all the triggers for the lasers, and our road doctor will be fitting our eyes with all the fancy prosthetics, and WOW, we can already almost taste that day-of-show anticipation.
If this sounds like your kind of thing, click on the Turtle Click Zone! The turtles in the picture will whisk you over to the ticketing page, and then politely turn their heads while you pull out your credit card and make your purchase. (To be completely forthright: they will chew on your furniture while you’re distracted. It’s just “beak chewing,” though, which is practically nothing — significantly less destructive than teeth chewing.)
We booked some new shows! You should book tickets! Then let’s book a time to read some good books together!
The shows are in the U.K., and they’re SMALL—because we like tight quarters—and they go on sale THIS FRIDAY AT 9 A.M. Links to tickets and the names of the venues and the cities where they’re located: all that info is on our Shows page, accessible through the turtle link below. Click it. Click on it, the turtle link down there. That takes you to it, I think. Who knows how this stuff works??
Here’s a quick preview: BRISTOL 22/7… PORTSMOUTH 23/7… LONDON 25/7… COVENTRY 27/7… GLASGOW 29/7… MANCHESTER 30/7… PRESTON 31/7… CORK 2/8
So now you don’t have to waste a click if none of those appeal to you. How many clicks do you get per day? We get 25. Seems like a lot, but actually you go through them pretty quickly. We usually end up stuck on one webpage after about midday because we’ve run out of clicks and can’t navigate away.
Ha— the other night, we got home pretty late, maybe around 1 a.m., and we did a little web-browsing, and before we knew it we had blown the NEXT day’s click allotment. GOD. Haha. #worstdayever
J/K, you guys. We get all the clicks we want. We’re We Are Scientists.
POLICY UPDATE: We’ve decided to start using our email list. Why? Because email is due for a retro-vintage-rehash. Who uses email anymore? So 1999, right?! When did you last receive an email? When did you last own a computer that was capable of sending an email?? Probably 5 years ago. Well, dig out your Apple OldBook, because we’re going to start sending you some pretty hot stuff via email, and nowhere else. ON MONDAY, for example: we’ll email out pre-sale information for some new July tour dates in the UK. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! No! A week later (or so), we’ll send out pre-sale information for some new U.S. tour dates. AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH: This is going to be not just an “email” we’ll be sending you every monthweekdayweekmonth-ishly… it will be a *newsletter.* Meaning articles, interviews, photos, typefaces, and formatting. Also exclusive mp3’s (sometimes), videos (more often), and original jokes (in every newsletter).
There really is only one reason not to sign up for this newsletter, and that’s if you hate life, and *enjoy* hating life. The last part is key, because if you just ‘hate life,’ well then we can cure that. But if what you love is hating life, then this is not the newsletter for you. Go sign up for one of Huffington Post’s eBlasts—that’ll add some hate-foam onto your hate-cake.
Add some love-juice to your life-smoothie now!