Part of being a scientist is being able to block out the noise and focus on whatever knot you’ve given yourself the task of unravelling. Manifestations of this vary from individual to individual, but the habit is unfailingly found in any respected, results-oriented scientist. Albert Einstein famously avoided losing precious energy to closet crises by drastically limiting his wardrobe. Nils Boer is reputed to have gone weeks on end sleeping short nights on his office couch in order to eliminate the ten-minute commute to and from his house, which was two blocks from campus. And who can forget the way that, when faced with a life-threatening challenge, Angus MacGyver seemed to go into a sort of “zone”.
Well, we’re no different. A lot of blocking out goes on here at WAS HQ, a lot of narrow-focusing, a lot of streamlining. As a result, people get ignored, their feelings get bruised, and we’re sorry about that, by the way, for those of you who qualify, and you are legion. Where would we be without our myrmidons? We ask you.
But man do the results speak for themselves. Relativity discovered; sub-molecular dynamics described; Murdoc and his fucking cronies from H.I.T. thwarted; and, of course, some of this era’s hottest rock music doled out. It is with species-benefitting advances in mind, then, that we are scientists registers the following complaint: people are really going overboard with the whole saucy bumper-sticker thing, and it’s becoming distracting, and it’s hurting our work.
You know what we mean, of course. A vanishingly small number of drivers remain who don’t feel compelled by la mode to accesorize their cars with decals demanding that any strangers within eyeshot fuck off. What a disconcerting trend! What’s that? Not sure you agree that there’s a problem? Think we’re over-reacting? Check out some of these bumper stickers we’ve spotted recently; then tell us things haven’t gone too far…
Come on! How uncool is that? What about this one:
Totally out of nowhere! This next one probably takes the cake; not only is it totally mean-spirited, but it must cost a bundle cuz it’s really, really big (we’ve seen versions that cover the rear windshield):
Wow! And what about THIS….
We should probably come clean: that last one we see a lot because it’s on our car.